Success

What are these things you possess
Direction and purpose
Hard work, motivation, success?
I can only seem to stumble through life
Like a drunkard through the night
Happy enough I ended up
Home in my own warm bed.
What is this magic you possess
That made things go the way you planned?
If I made a plan, the universe would surely
Shake the whole world with it's laughter.
The chaos that made us all
Made you exhibit A and me exhibit B
Here the one who will excel
And here the one...well, we'll see.

Lover Think

Lover think
I'll have another drink
And wait for you to see
How drunk I need to be
With you.

Aberration

You are a strange aberration
In this land of potted plants
And cookie cutter houses
Where the girls like mouses
Breathe a long sigh of resignation.
You resign yourself to keep on growing
All the seeds you are sowing
You are a strange apparition.

Con quist ador

I am a conquistador
You can't ignore
You must adore
My subtle war
I wage with emotion
Ransom your devotion
Cross the largest ocean
For gold and glory
Infamous story
Of my victory.

Ah.

Sucking at your mettle
Your marrow
This is just an extension
Of my personality
Freeform jazz
Playing through my tongue
You can't even articulate
Comprehend
Inhumanity in my pose
I just have to laugh
At the way you scrunch
Your nose.
Mouths are the masters
Of men in repose.

More

You were a thing I dreamed about
When I found what dreams were for
And then a thing I cried about
When my dreams were nothing more.

Fine

You packed up and left

Did you even look back?

Not a word said to me

When I was such a wreck

So now in my mind

You are just DEAD

And I'm done mourning

You're outta my head.

Don't worry 'bout me, I'm gonna be fine.

Has anyone seen my piece of mind?

Steady as a rock stuck firm in the ground.

You say I'm all talk, but you're not around

To pick up the pieces if I fall apart.

Don't worry 'bout me, I don't need a heart.

It's easy for me

To move on with my life

As easy as you

And your ugly ass wife

Cuz now in my mind

You are just DEAD

Your fucking snoring

Is outta my bed.

Don't worry 'bout me, I'm gonna be fine.

Has anyone seen my piece of mind?

Steady as a rock stuck firm in the ground.

You say I'm all talk, but you're not around

To pick up the pieces if I fall apart.

Don't worry 'bout me, I don't need a heart.

I'm gonna be
Fine fine fine
Even though you're not
Mine mine mine.
Just give me some
Wine,
And I'll show you I'm
FINE.

Wake Up

Wake up
Put on a clean old shirt
Pretend the world
Doesn't make me hurt

Don't look
At those around me
Their pain displayed
For anyone to see
The raw nerves
Unshielded flesh
Stick a fork in me
I'm done.

Go to sleep
In the same old shirt
Dream a world
Where I am unhurt
See a friend
I forgot long ago
Jump off a cliff
Land in Mexico
The soft fall
The open air

Wake up
Put on the same old day
Pretend there is
Something new to say.

I Think, Therefore...

He says I think too much
But to me that is like saying
You exist too much
How could a thought ever be too much,
But a kiss or touch too little?

He says I'm afraid to be hurt
And maybe that's true
But why is it wrong to be safe with a heart?

There is a quiet
To being alone
A peace so often overlooked
In the worry of being lonely.

Is a life lived alone less valid, less real
Than a love of convenience
For a body to hold at night?


Don't mind me, I think too much. 

Crooked Hands

These crooked hands

The things they hold

Turn to ash

Never gold

My crooked fingers

Around your heart

Bleeding trash

Work of art.

This crooked grasp

Weakly grips

Will not smash

Slowly slips.

These crooked hands

The things they make

Sure to crack

Always fake.

Old Friend

Hello, old friend
Despair
It's been a while since
You crawled inside my chest
And reached your arms out
Wide.
You're welcome to my hopes and dreams
It was silly of me to have them
Anyway.

Bodies

Go on girl, you're in charge
Don't have to lie on your back to be somebody.
'Cause some body
Won't make you who you are.
You've the right to be more than just broken...

So stomp on the bodies that line up for you
Like a zombie horde waiting to devour you.
Take what they have and make it your own
You've got yourself, and you're not all alone.

Dog-pile Days

It's hard to accept that we are never going back
To the dog-pile carefree comfort of
Each other's bodies and laughter
Unreserved enthusiasm, unrestrained bluster
Secrets unfolded, examined, accepted.
In retrospect we are all an eternal summer,
A Kinkade cottage I wish to climb in and stay
But reality shows how fragmented we've become
Too betrayed and scarred to ever be the same.

Tacky Girl

Tacky girl
Your laughter is grating
Kindly give it a PG rating
And stop molesting my ears.
Cheesy predictable troll
Like a radio DJ, so loudly saying
Nothing of worth
And trying to cling to my
Sensible shoestrings
Tripping over your own
Badly shod hooves
Which reside orally.
So quickly you bray
At what any boy might say
As though that chalkboard feeling
Were somehow appealing.
And no color dress can
Compliment your lack of charm,
It's just a bit of fabric,
Not a piece of magic.
Cherie, listen to me,
That shade of desperation
Really isn't in this season.

Unforgiven

If I ever forgive you
What will that mean?
How can this resentment,
Hoarded up and stored
In jagged angry cages,
Ever just dissipate
Or blow away?

Such heavy matter must combust
To melt down and mold
Into something else altogether.

But this is all just speculation
For I never will absolve you
Even if I am crushed
By my own bitter trove.

Heart Of Gold

The problem with a heart of gold
Is how it's always bleeding
Bits of fortune everywhere
And someone's always needing
More and more for a low low cost
More attention, more tasteless feeding
And these demands will never cease
Until your heart has no more beating.

Crashing

When everything is going well
And the skies are clearing up
The weather's turning warm
And abundance is within reach

Just wait.

When the other shoe drops
You'll touch the broken glass and wonder
How you stay put together
When everything else

Crashes down.

Desire

You think you deserve me
As though I were some prize
Given for your acts of mediocrity.
You merely desire me
Like a child in the candy aisle
But your desire means less to me
Than a sticky bag of taffy.
Your desire deserves nothing.
And no one will ever deserve me.

Heavy Old Sweater

I will always feel like this
I have always felt like this
This is all I can feel
This feeling is all I can think of
And your questions fly past me
And your worry is muffled
Because your smiles are noisy
And I don't want to hear your pity
I don't want to be consoled
I just want to wrap this heavy old sweater
This heavy old feeling around me
And stop.

Only In Dreams

When I feel like dancing
I can dance to anything
And when I feel like drowning
I sink so deep I'll never be clean.
But now I feel like sleeping
To disappear in dreams.