To Spew

Inebriated,
I open my mouth and say
as spew
of true
but not the way I meant
to say,
that is to say,
I may or may not have meant
what I said about you.

Did I mention I was
Inebriated?

Absence

It's surreal how
You reject me every time
From the heart of your life
Back to the bleachers,
The nosebleeds,
And everything I know of you
Becomes second-hand.

I wonder if you ever held me
In any regard
Higher than the palm of your hand.

Because I was
Always there for you
I was cliche and a fool
But I was always true
And I know that
Even my anger and spiteful words
Were less cruel than your
Absence.

When Beauty Becomes Unbearable

When beauty becomes unbearable
What keeps us teasing and wearing
Grinning and bearing
The scrutiny of ourselves
And the world that's revolving
Like a pink plastic ballerina
Inside a wooden box?

But we all need something to strive for
and we all find something beautiful to die for
A notion, an ocean, a land
what's under the sand...
So why not beauty and her gilded throne?

Every morning I twist and twirl
Painting myself into a portrait of a girl
Hiding the flaws that magnify me,
Like ants on a sidewalk
Soon in flames
Their loving claims.
I hide myself and close the lid
When beauty becomes unbearable.

Awkward Mornings

I take you home in the mornings
in my dirty silver car.
With a broken radio,
The chat is very small.
Mostly we look out the windows.

-I never know what to say.

Hours ago our lips were locked
in quite a different way
and our limbs entangled
and our breaths contented sighs.

But the light and heat of the sun
makes us into uncomfortable strangers
with awkward hands.