I MISS YOU

The breeze becomes an echo of a whisper in my ear
when your voice is all I want to hear,
and it almost makes sense
if I listen hard enough.

If I listen hard enough, I can hear your heart
beneath the dirt, the cement, the cloth that covers your cold dead flesh.
If I listen hard enough, I can hear your heart
and how it doesn't beat.

I miss you when the sun shines down arrogantly. I miss you when the stars are bright and the moon smiles leeringly. I miss you when the snow dances dizzily down to the earth. I miss you when the rain taps pleadingly at my window. I miss you now, my eyelids heavy with sleep.

If I close my eyes, I can almost believe you're still here.
If I listen hard enough, I can almost
Forget
You're gone.

I miss you.

Behind The Mask

Capture me inside a box
Limit me to just one life
Guarantee I won't come back
I'll subscribe to that.

Your wings don't fool me
Your halo is slipping
I see behind the mask,
The angelic front
You are just a man
A man I don't wanna know.

Though you offer redemption
Though you promise salvation
The blood on your palms
looks like paint to me
You are just a man
And I'm not satisfied

Cuz I know where to find salvation
I know how to make it right
I know what to do with my devotion
But it is not your Christ.

Capture me inside a box
Limit me to just one life
Guarantee I won't come back
I'll subscribe to that.

SHADES OF THE FALL

I've had a few moments to
Collect myself
I've had a few years to gain
Some mental health
And I should be all better
But I should've known better

Because around you

I become a shade of myself
And that shade is grey
And that shad is mauve
And that shade is taupe
And that shade is stupid and hated
And underappreciated.

I've had a few years to gain perspective
It's been a few times I've been rejected
I should be used to how this feels
But sunburnt skin often peels

And around you

I become a shade of myself
And that shade is grey
And that shad is mauve
And that shade is taupe
And that shade is stupid and hated
And underappreciated

But you never saw me
No you never saw me
When I spent all my summers obsessing over you
I spent all my winters obsessing over you
I spent all my springs in love with you
And all I've left is the fall

All I am is the fall
-I am falling, I have fallen-
Because first kisses don't mean
"I love you"
And second base doesn't mean
"I'll hold you forever"
But in the end you know
I lied
When I said I have
Never cried

Over you.

NEVER GO BACK

Don't know why I let you use me like you did
Don't know why I forgave what I shouldn't forgive
Couldn't say why I let you abuse my heart
Didn't know why from the very start.

The rain is cool as it falls over me
Washes the pain into the sea
Soothes my aches with it's pitter patter
Cleanses my soul of it's guilty chatter

If wishes were roses, I'd have a garden
If kisses were jailtime, I'd have a pardon
If bruises were badges, I'd have the prize
If ruses were honest, well I'd tell no lies

If I had a brain when we first met
Would've held back my heart and used my head
Told you that I would rather be dead
Than let you abuse me like you did.

Take back all those things you said
Take back all the hurt you dealt
Give me back my legs to stand
Give me back those things I felt

Cuz I'm ready to face the day
I'm ready to walk away
And never look back,
Never go back.

HELL I KNOW

Fingers in my brain
I can't survive this lifeless terrain.
Mountains of screaming devils,
Eyeless they scent my tender flesh.

Screaming, screaming, eternal torment.
Burning, scorching, torture's not silent.
Fire, brimstone, feel the hungry lick.
Gently cradle a mind turned sick.

Every day, every hour
More and more I feel it's power
So deceptive, slowly creeping
In my brain while I am sleeping
Captivating, watch me fading
Faster, faster, watch me fall.

And I am at the mercy
Of creatures who don't see me
They smell my desperation
And know I've lost my way
Who'll come to save the day?
This damsel can't help herself.

SHOW & TELL

Frozen heart, you think of me
Like I don't feel, I don't grieve.
Because my eyes remain so dry
You think I have no tears to cry.

But life is not a simple thing,
He haunts me still within my dreams.
I live my life in love with death
And he the one without a breath
Took it all away in one vacant stare.
How can you say that I don't care?

If I wail and if I weep,
Toss and turn within my sleep,
Would my grief be more bonafide
Than if I'd kept it all inside?

But grief is not a simple thing,
Instead of tears I laugh and sing.
There is comedy in death
And you're the one wasting breath
Trying to decode my stare,
Telling me that I don't care.

Who the hell are you
That you know me so well?
Try to understand
We don't all like to show & tell.

THERE IS TIME

There is time to explore
The criminal impulses
That you feel in your gut
When you don't ignore the voices

Just take your time, boy
Draw a line, boy
Pick the side that you won't cross
Just take the time, boy
Be a fine boy
Put your shoulder to that cross

And don't cross the spear that bleeds you
Thank the nails that hold you up
For they absolve you of your sins
And make you purer than a little lamb.

Pain is simple to inflict,
Mercy needs a bigger stick.
Flaggelation is salvation
Not one need accuse you now.

There is time to make amends...

There is time, boy
Make amends, boy
To the ones that you have crossed
There is time, boy
Be a fine boy
Put your shoulder to that cross...

Walking Dead

We couldn't run anymore
We were too tired and sore
You sacrificed yourself so I could live
Gave all that you could give
But I can't go on
Now that you've gone...

You only want me for my body now
I am tempted to just give in
I should just shoot you in the head
You left me for the walking dead.

It was love from the start
Couldn't tear us apart
Killing zombies through the endless night
We were the life of the fight
We were the perfect pair
And it's just not fair!

You only want me for my body now
I am tempted to just give in
I should just shoot you in the head
You left me for the walking dead.

It's just not the same without you
The laughs we had were too few
And more than your sharpshooting skills I miss
Your warm embrace and your kiss...

You only want me for my body now
I am tempted to just give in
I should just shoot you in the head
You left me for the walking dead.

COME AND GO

My body is a convenience store
Take what you want, walk out the door
Pump your fuel, drive away
Come and Go, don't dare stay
Don't loiter, don't linger
I'll give you the finger
Show you the door
When you say you want more
Thankyou for the lay
Have a nice day...

PURGATORY

We lie to ourselves
About the state we're in
Purgatory is a place within
When we are without love.

Your girlfriend knows you love me more.
I think it shows, this love, this core.

What's the matter with me?
I can't give, not fully.
I can love, but not wholly.

We do nothing but laugh all night
Because best friends should never fight
or love too much.
Not wholly, not fully.
Not you and not me.

I love you more, I think you know
this love, this core's not safe to show.

We lie to ourselves
About the state we're in
Purgatory is a place within
When we are without love.