4 Star Review

It's a little bit La Femme Nikita

A little bit lesbian

And a little bit heartbreaking in the end.

I wanted my villain to win

I wanted the girl to get the girl

To live chaotically ever after

The End.

Lost

What is lost in our steady decline
Is not written on the skin in prose
Or felt in the bones and their grinding decay
It is in the slow and sudden loss of anticipation
For things just beyond our ken.
So lost are we in practical things
We forget the magic we hold within
And the world that knows us tomorrow
Will never guess the wonders
Throbbing beneath our skin
Or the secret places we once saw everywhere.
It is essential to never lose such wonder,
But every trudging day, it slips farther away
Until suddenly we are all grown up.

Fragments

This is all I have for you,

Fragments of a larger work

That I may never do.

Incomplete

Clove cigarettes in the summer heat

The coffee bitter, the orange juice sweet

Our emotions overripe, falling from the trees

Mourning a life so stunning 

And incomplete.

Breaking

I am always breaking

Everyday.

You break me down

I break away.

I break my own heart

Over every word you don't say.

Uncomfortable

Uncomfortable in this skin

Uncomfortable in this body

Uncomfortable with this spine

Don't tell me to be comfortable

Just because it's mine.

Too small too tight too

Painful

Too itchy too soft too

Hateful

Don't tell me to be

Grateful.

Easy

Time passes softly without you

And I don't know who I am

Or how I got here

Or why I alone am so easy to lose.

Baptism

I have found myself changed

Born again in your love

And now without you I wonder

Who the fuck have I become?

Ready

If my heart were ready to find

Maybe you would have heard it

Beating for you

You would have felt it skip

When you walked in the room.

Knife

There are times my body yearns

To be used like a knife

Cutting through the world

Sharp, unstoppable, feared.

Instead it lies on the sink edge

Balanced on possibility.

Beyond

Beyond

Every

Twinkling

Star

You are eternal.

Tin Cans

I'll send you a letter by paper plane

If you float me back a message in a bottle

Call me with your tin cans and a string

I'll get back to you by pigeon wing

Oh, somehow, some way

We'll get in touch again

Oh, somehow, someday

We will meet again.

What Is Left?

But what is left to say?

After I decide I'm done

Being treated this way

What is left to say?

After I decide I'm done 

Going on this way

What is left to say?

All this time I went with the flow

All this time I'd just go where you go

And I'd just do what you want to do

Because at least I was with you

But now I'm done, done, done

And what is left to say?

Decadence

And so my decade of decadence

Has come to a close

And nothing I have left

Is worth keeping

Not memories

Or friends

Or worn old party clothes.

Dissent

When happiness seems too hard,

I choose to experience everything else;

All the small cruelties of life,

All the bizarre and broken people.

I swim comfortably through the bilge,

At home with the feeling of unrest.

Riotous, lazy, malcontent,

Be safe in my harbor of dissent.

If I May

Don't kill yourself in May
They'll bury you on a sunny day
Loved ones squinting in dismay.
The summer will steal your heat
Tacky sandals on the feet
Of your sweaty pallbearers.

But if you must,
(Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust)
Dearly departed,
You are a cunt.

The Fool

Beginning something new.

Taking a risk with hope.

I'm just The Fool

In your deck.

Another ship to wreck.

Untethered

Once you were mine

But now you have floated from me

Like an untethered balloon

Up and away

To dance with the clouds.

Co-Dependent

I entrusted to you

Every terrible inch

Of my heart or soul

Or whatever it is that

Makes a person a person.

I was a selfish child

Wanting only the best of your love

Always.

The most space in your life,

As much as you could give,

More.

But I wanted only what I gave

Without limit, without restriction,

Forever.

I was a foolish child.

There is no trust so free

So blind, so grand, so true

Only dependency too great

To see beyond the homes

We make of our companions.

Peace and Quiet

 There is now a quiet and a calm

(I can't stand it;

It drives me insane).

And I sink into it,

Burrowing further and further

And farther away from

The drama of others lives.

I cocoon myself from everyone,

And the riot turns to rest

And I'm sleeping in tomorrow,

And the next day,

And the next.