I Wish

I wish I could be nice
Like everyone else.
I wish I understood
When people say things.

I wish I could be mean
Like everyone else.
I wish they understood
When I don't say things.

I wish I could be close
Instead of closed.
I wish I could be most
Instead of almost.

I wish.
I wish.
I wish.

Cons

I'm bad at drugs

I never lie

I often wish that I would die

I'm always late

I can't commit

And I'm a lazy screw.

I don't cook

I barely clean

Exaggerate what I have seen

I'm a narcissist

And I can't resist

A good old reminisce.

I'm a godless heathen

I don't stray from

What I believe in.

I talk too much and

When I have nothing good to say

I'll say it anyway.

I'm a fixer not a listener

I'm a smoker not

A fucking quitter.

I'm a hypocrite

But I'm cool with it

I meant it at the time.

But won't you love me anyway

Tell me that I'll be okay

Someone else can surely see

That's not all there is to me.

Although my cons outweigh my prose

I'm more than just a list.

Web M.D.

I could just be scaring myself late at night
But instead of monsters, it's illness.
Every cursor click, I'm further
Down the rabbit hole.
Every symptom a tarot card,
An astrological reading.
But this doesn't feel like a scary story
Fit for everyone.
It feels like
Past present future
Truth.
Turns out I'm already
Dead.