It Felt Like

Every time you touched me
It felt like something more
Than just wonton avarice.
It felt like emotion.
Like you were searching for
Something deep inside of me
(So careful, so kind).
But in the end
(Because this is the end)
It was all nothing.
We are nothing.

Mourning

"I don't see the point in being sad
Over something that never existed,"
I say as I mourn
Everything you never became.

Virtue

In my cult they said
"Strong willed" like a curse
As if being weak
Were a virtue.
That's always been the view
Of those who wish to hurt you.

The Dirt

Do what you gotta do

Screw who you gotta screw

To get what you want

Is not a crime

And morality is just a line

You sign your name on.

And don't ever go back.

If you have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill

Never go back to that life

To the dirt you crawled away from.

Novocaine

Novocaine,
I wish you could
Numb my soul.

Time

Time flies like a vulture
Circling something dead or dying
Letting everything else gnaw at you
Before claiming what's left.

The Dream

"I'm living the dream!"
But whose dream?
And why do they dream
Such shitty dreams?
If there's one thing I excel at,
It's dreaming.
Not to boast, not to brag
But my dreams are better
Than this endless drag.
So why am I stuck
Living in this dream?

POS

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Like a part of your soul is missing?

Probably not, you piece of shit.

Outflung

She is joy

And she is wild

She dances just like a child

With her arms outflung

Laughing at the sky.

Roving Soul

I pick you up, I put you down
I know you'll always be around
When I am ready to begin again.

I carry on like it is fine
There's no trouble writing lines
But filler drives me to tears.

Oh I'm such a roving soul
Oh I have such fickle fingers
Oooh my mind it wanders
But it always wants to return.

I pick you up, I dust you off
A little rusty from neglect
Lucky I'm a good beginner

I dip the brush, I spread the paint
I still remember what to do
So obsessed for today with you.

Oh I'm such a roving soul
Oh I have such fickle fingers
Oooh my mind it wanders
But it always wants to return.

I wish that I could love just one
Have a burning passion for
Not a "Jack of All" situation.
I wish I could master anything,
It sure would save me time
And so much frustration.

Born Again

Condemn me with one hand
Jerk off with the other.
You are a sacred miracle
Everything about you is sin.
Fully responsible victim
Evil incarnate birth, born again.

Truth

You think you want the truth
But what you really want
Is for the truth to be palatable.
But the truth is like grizzle
And you break your teeth on it.

Present Company

Was there a before?
I can only feel the after.

Rich White Man

Preconceived notions

Thoughtless oceans

Inhumanity we swim

Everything we doubt within

Is without doubt, a sin

Against the human ego's fall

The rich white man within us all.

Fickle Friend

I think you put on different faces

For the different people in your life.

I think you hate the things

You love about yourself.

I think you can be a brilliant clown 

And a shitty fickle friend.

Anyway, I miss you, Asshole.
When do you come to town again?

Phoenix

Like a phoenix I will rise

From the ashes of this life

Tonight I have gone lower

Than I ever thought I would

All that's left to do is

Burn myself alive

And live again.

Belief

I believe in reinvention
I believe in best intention
I believe in breaking convention
But I don't believe in you.

Leftovers

Let me borrow some love

Some warmth

Some tenderness

Or call me a thief

Stealing in the night

What I need to survive.

Just the little bits

You don't need, won't miss,

Just your leftover love

While I sit here and bleed.

Weirdo

I was just a weirdo
Just a silly sullen girl
And he was just the sun
The moon, and all the stars.
But now he's gone
And I'm still here
And after all these years
I think I might be fine.

Saturday, 4 A.M.

It's 4 A.M. on a Saturday,
Obviously I'm drunk.
That doesn't mean I like you
Any less.

I'm texting you because
You never text me first,
And at 4 A.M. I'm drunk
And hopeful.

But I'm getting nowhere,
You barely text back.
You can only think to ask
"Are you drunk?"

Well if I wasn't drunk
Then I'd want to be,
Your response isn't inspiring.
I give up.