The Goblet

Balance a goblet full of sorrow
On your head until the morrow
With dignity and grace
Hold a steady pace
And smile like
 it isn't 
there
Fitted snug upon your hair
Waiting to tip over.

Woven

I look out to the ocean and see

A finely woven tapestry of

The sheerest gauze overlaid with

Beaded organza winking under the sun

Waves of lace fluttering at my toes.

She beckons to me in a (quiet, soothing) roar

To become one with her composition.

I, who have known many fabrics, but am made of

Flesh and blood and bones and breath.

But also I am filled with her.

My skin prickles under the winds behest

And yearns for her to enfold me.

To fill my pockets with precious stones and

Welcome the embrace of her depths

Like a child returning to her mother's womb.

Do Not Disturb

I'm just a girl
Traumatized by nothing
Reliving, not the trauma,
But the feeling that remained.

It all just feels a part of me now,
Inescapable identity.
Without it, I don't know what's left.

Shaped by daily abuse,
Weekly torment,
And then all the death...
My personality is a bruise
And life is the hammer.

You enshrine me,
But you know nothing,
Revealing only base desire
For the image of a girl disturbed.

Replay

The delicious despair
Of words that understand your pain
Nothing to gain
Except misery multiplied
But it feels so good
To soak in the bad
Sometimes.

Replay.

Novocaine

Novocaine,
I wish you could
Numb my soul.

Time

Time flies like a vulture
Circling something dead or dying
Letting everything else gnaw at you
Before claiming what's left.

Leftovers

Let me borrow some love

Some warmth

Some tenderness

Or call me a thief

Stealing in the night

What I need to survive.

Just the little bits

You don't need, won't miss,

Just your leftover love

While I sit here and bleed.

Old Friend

Hello, old friend
Despair
It's been a while since
You crawled inside my chest
And reached your arms out
Wide.
You're welcome to my hopes and dreams
It was silly of me to have them
Anyway.

Heavy Old Sweater

I will always feel like this
I have always felt like this
This is all I can feel
This feeling is all I can think of
And your questions fly past me
And your worry is muffled
Because your smiles are noisy
And I don't want to hear your pity
I don't want to be consoled
I just want to wrap this heavy old sweater
This heavy old feeling around me
And stop.

Only In Dreams

When I feel like dancing
I can dance to anything
And when I feel like drowning
I sink so deep I'll never be clean.
But now I feel like sleeping
To disappear in dreams.

3 Minutes of Joy

With no skill
And only desperate enthusiasm
I lift myself from a low
With a shoulder shake
A tilted hip
A spasmic flip
and my hair flies free and wild.

As long as I keep
Moving to the beat
Stretching
Bending
A joy is welling
Swelling
Bursting
From me.

And there is no time to concentrate
Or think
Or feel
Anything but fine.

Until the music stops.