Petty Purification

She's a parody of a person,
Selling health in a bag,
Hocking a life style via Internet
No one can afford.

She promotes "well being"
Like kale can save your soul,
But a juice cleanse and granola mix
Won't make you whole.

#NoMakeup selfies,
Pictures of the dogs
Eating vegan treats.
We're all just filthy animals
Who crave meat.

Tacky Girl

Tacky girl
Your laughter is grating
Kindly give it a PG rating
And stop molesting my ears.
Cheesy predictable troll
Like a radio DJ, so loudly saying
Nothing of worth
And trying to cling to my
Sensible shoestrings
Tripping over your own
Badly shod hooves
Which reside orally.
So quickly you bray
At what any boy might say
As though that chalkboard feeling
Were somehow appealing.
And no color dress can
Compliment your lack of charm,
It's just a bit of fabric,
Not a piece of magic.
Cherie, listen to me,
That shade of desperation
Really isn't in this season.

TYRANICAL MONSTER BITCH ASS HO

Tyranical Monster Bitch Ass Ho
That's her status quo.
She doesn't care about me,
She doesn't care about you.
She's just a poser queen bee,
Just a wanna be with no clue.
Her gossip is always vast,
But her words are never true;
She doesn't care about the past,
She doesn't care about you.
She tries too hard,
She talks too loud,
She brakes her promises,
Is vain and preppy proud.
Tyranical Monster Bitch Ass Ho,
She's the worst person to know.
She lies and she cheats,
She wears short skirts with pleats.
She doesn't care about me,
She doesn't care about you;
She's just a poser queen bee,
And she has no fucking clue.